In Hollywood you know the 4th of July is just around the corner when the L.A.P.D. starts running their public service announcements in movie theaters and on television imploring people not to fire their guns into the air. They won’t admit it, but I suspect some of these same cops, bored and angry at working the holiday shift, are firing their service revolvers into the air at the same time. Perhaps only down the block from the gangbangers firing their guns into the air. It’s one of the few times when the good guys and the bad buys aren’t firing at each other.

All the city and county parks are filled on the 4th with large Mexican families and a few poor White people. The sweet smell of carnitas and beans fills the air. Metal tubs of Corona (Beer of choice) in ice are next to every picnic bench. Drunken men in cowboys hats try to stay on their feet long enough to play soccer with family and friends. The White people bring their portable TVs so they won’t miss out on any of the holiday high speed car chases. The cops chasing another stolen car.

This is a holiday when celebrities leave the city and tourists flock to Hollywood and the Walk of Fame. Some of the tourists will never be seen again. It’s the 4th. of July in L.A. One important lesson I’ve learned from living in L.A. is that bad friends can bring a whole lot of trouble into your life. Bad neighborhoods can kill you. After my son graduated from high school and moved out I fell into this really depressing funk. So I started to hang out with the wrong kind of people in Echo Park. That’s where the movie, "Training Day", was filmed and not the best place to be if you want to avoid running into trouble. If the police aren’t stopping you to ask about your friend in the passenger seat the gangbangers are threatening you to cough up information as to your other friend’s whereabouts. Sooner or later you begin to think and act like everyone around you. One night a crackhead stole my wallet and before the night was over I was involved in my one and only gunfight. Bad neighborhoods can make you crazy. Very crazy. Sort of like a long weekend in Fond du Lac.

Conversely, hanging out in the right neighborhood can make a career out here. You’re just got to capitalize on any opportunity. Jamie Kennedy was a tenant of mine when I managed an apartment building across the street from The Hollywood Bowl. He had already made the movie, "Scream", and was on his way to stardom. Fame didn’t corrupt him in the slightest. He was kind to my son and friendly to everyone in the building. I wish now I had used him. Used him ‘til it hurt. He could have helped my career but I thought using him might look unprofessional. How stupid was I? As I look back there are so many more celebrities I should have used. Freddie Prinze, Sonny & Cher, Dick Clark. Even Sinbad. I should have said anything to them. Made a ton of promises. I could have my own sitcom by now if I had just been a bit more corrupt. Growing up in towns like Chilton can be a handicap. Without knowing it, you develop something of a moral compass. If you’re not careful you just might become a good person.

Here's a final thought out of the blue. I don’t think God has call waiting. I wonder just how many messages He has missed from me. How many times have I prayed and He was busy on the other line with someone more important? How many times have I prayed for a winning lottery ticket? Beach front property in Malibu? Less hair loss? So many things. So many prayers lost on hold. If only He would just get Call Waiting. Imagine how different the world would be.

It’s July and the summer’s half over. How many times have you been to the lake? Caught fireflies in a bottle? Gone fishing on a whim? Eaten fish on Friday? Go visit your home town before you can't recognize it anymore. Drop me a line at

           Hollywood Daze

and let me know how it went.

 The clock is ticking.

For more comical info on the writer of this blog go to:  WorldHumour.bravehost.com

Tom Neuhoff
World Humour
"Funnier Than You"

Hollywood Daze/Blogger

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