This is the last Hollywood Daze I'm going to write. ......................April Fools!

Okay, so April Fools Day is still over a week away, I had to give it a shot anyway. April Fools Day is such a wonderful day when you think about it. Go ahead. Think about it. It’s the one day when it acceptable to lie, if only briefly. It’s also an opportunity to practice for those who just don’t lie often enough. It’s also a day chock full of unexpected surprises. I’ve always thought that if I ever had a daughter by an unplanned pregnancy I would name her April Fools Neuhoff.

This month I would like to talk about the unexpected surprises in life. Both the good ones and the bad ones. We all have them. Some of them we give names to and spend a lifetime paying for their college tuition. We try to teach them right from wrong and wish for the best. And then there are the good surprises. Meeting a soul mate who brings much needed light into the darkest corners of our loneliness. You know the kind of person I'm talking about. Someone who makes you happy just by being in the same room. Then along comes one of those pesky bad surprises and you find out she lives in another time zone and her husband is a mercenary with a short fuse.

Falling in love is one of life's most beloved unexpected surprises. Some people will meet the love of their life on the Internet. Statistically, though, you stand a better chance of getting struck by lightning....with a winning lottery ticket tightly clenched in one hand. But there are always those lucky, lucky hearts who will find love hiding somewhere between Google and Yahoo. Or perhaps even perusing the blogs.

Divorce is always an unexpected surprise. Unless you’re Donald Trump. My first wife didn’t even ask for alimony. She just wanted her maiden name back as soon as possible and any written record of her ever being with me destroyed and the ashes cast into the four winds. She would have been even happier if there was a fifth wind. A lot of people dread a pending divorce but, being a "glass half-full" kind of guy, I figure the sooner you get divorced the sooner you can make the mistake of getting married again.

Winning the lottery is the ultimate unexpected surprise. I never miss buying a ticket. I figure where else can you guy hope for a buck? Now California has both Super Lotto and Mega Bucks so I can be disappointed twice as often. Some lottery winners blow their money on the dumbest things. We’ve all read about the winner who buys his high school teacher a new Ferrari or builds a golf course in the basement. I’ve thought this through thoroughly. If I ever win enough the lottery I’m going to buy an extra thumb for each hand. That way when I am a klutz on a first date I can always break the ice by saying, "I’m all thumbs."

Since I haven’t won the lottery yet I’d have to say the greatest unexpected surprise of my life so far has been my granddaughter, Angel. Who would have guessed that being a grandparent would be so much fun? You grandparents know what I'm talking about. I remember my grandfather telling me that being a grandpa was the single greatest joy of his life. But then this is coming from the guy who thought it was funny to play checkers with his dentures. I know I can safely say that having Angel in my life has been even better than a winning lottery ticket. (Unless Natalie Portman comes with the cash.) Last week my son told me whenever he gives Angel the choice of going to "Chucke Cheese" or visiting Grandpa she always picks me. That’s the greatest compliment a kid can pay you. How come our grandchildren turn out so much better than our own kids? She turned 4 just last month. Her name, Angel, is so appropriate…unless she’s over-tired or you’re trying to eat some of her popcorn. Then just call her... "Damian".

Another one of life's unexpected surprise is military service. Terry Fluhr and I both enlisted in the Air Force under the "Buddy Plan". (He was the only friend I had in school and then only because he felt sorry for me. I was just a dork.) We were told by the recruiter that we would be stationed together throughout our tour of duty. So, of course, Terry and I were both sent our separate ways immediately after our physical in Milwaukee and I didn’t see him again until after I was discharged. The Air Force sent me to Hamilton Air Force Base, tucked away in the rolling hills of bucolic Marin County, 26 miles north of San Francisco. It was 1968 and the height of the hippie movement. I would work as an air traffic controller for six days on the base and then spend my four days off hanging out in the Haight-Ashbury district. The "Jefferson Airplane" and "Mamas & Papas" would play for free in Golden Gate Park while jugglers and mimes entertained us all. Terry served his time in Little Rock, Arkansas where, on a good day, he got to visit the city zoo.  Sometimes life just isn't fair. I was the one who convinced Terry to enlist in the first place. But if you live long enough the really good and kind people are finally rewarded. Terry Fluhr now owns a beautiful home in Chilton and his life is full of close friends and loving family. Don't even get me started on my life out here in L.A.

Oh, by the way, contrary to what I have suggested in past blogs, there are no illegal immigrants working at

                Hollywood Daze......April Fools!

For more comical info on the writer of this blog go to:  WorldHumour.bravehost.com

Tom Neuhoff
World Humour
"Funnier Than You"

Hollywood Daze/Blogger

Hollywood Daze/Yahoo 360